The Primary Conflict

When faced with death, men and women are almost inconsolable. It doesn't matter how much wisdom a person may have, or how smart their comfort is. They will feel despair and sadness regardless of any words of wisdom. It is important to let them grieve, let them despair and feel sadness, for that is how the dead are honored. That is how the living honor them. That is how life, both alive and deceased, give respect to those who aren't here in flesh, but remain in spirit. It is what makes us humans so psychologically superior, in that we can recognize the existence of a person or thing regardless of it's presence or lack thereof in our present space and time (Research object permanence for more details).

But there is another level of spiritual permanence that is oft misunderstood. The universe wastes nothing, it recycles everything. Flesh returns to the earth, spirit remains in memory, and soul remains in those who loved them in life. They may not be around, but we humans have the capability of understanding that their absence does not mean that they are gone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, FFXI has gotten a little irritating. Not the game itself, but within the game, their exists a faction devoted to accumulating currency and selling it for real world money (Real Money Trading, also known as RMT.) RMT's are ruthless, they have sunk to the level of stealing accounts, harming the in-game economy, and spamming us with advertisements. The game staff, of course, frowns on this and bans them seconds within their first offense, but there's little else that can be done.

Well, I was just angry enough the other day to repay them for their deeds. I sent them an e-mail, explaining my general dissatisfaction of their services, along with some vocabulary of questionable morality. In addition, I asked as many people as I could to do this too. I even went to some FFXI community sites. I doubt my post got a good reception, but some people may have sent an e-mail, so that'll have been a success. I planned on canceling my subscription to that site anyway, so best to go out with a bang, you know?

RMT just boils my blood, though. Partly because I'm guilty of it. I've bought gil, the currency of FFXI, before. This was way back, before I understood its severity or consequences. After I found out, my entire FFXI career has been about making enough money to pay it back. Not to the RMT's, mind you, but to my friends. As I see it, that was stolen money. A stolen monster, a stolen account, a stolen item, stolen gil. And I bought it. So I need to pay it back. It'll take awhile, but it's something I have to do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was depressing. My cat is dying, the cause is Chronic Renal Failure. Felines are adapted to live in desert/savanna environments, and as such, their diets consist of very little protein. The kidney has trouble getting it all out of the cat's system. Kidney failure to a cat is like heart failure to a human. No living thing dies of old age, they die because they are too old to maintain their body, and something gives out. For humans, we put the most strain on our hearts, so that's what is likely to go first. For cats, it's the kidneys.

My cat is almost 10. He's too young to die. I'd explain more, but the subject chokes me up, so I'll leave it at that.